BLISS

Who are you? Like really who is the real you?

So today I was just pondering over thoughts in my mind, as I usually do and I asked myself the question who really am I? Take away all my fears and what society sees of me and what do you really get?

The first thing that came to mind was that I am an non-conformist. It's in my nature and probably one of the strongest memories of me understanding who I am. I knew I was a non-conformist when at the age of four my mother was trying to read the bible to me and convince me of god and in my mind I was going I totally don't get this concept. I know I replied back to my mother "so who created god then?" and my mother just tried some long winded explanation and I was like, "yeah right". No I honestly think I did say something on the lines of "yeah right". She kept going on and on...but I was like yep that doesn't really sit well with me. So I basically switched off...and for the whole 17 years of my life at home, she was unable to ever convince me. God bless her ;) I didn't just have her trying to convert me my whole adult life but people in my religion as well. I had the whole crew throughout my adolescent life trying to "convert me", but I couldn't conform. I tried...I really tried, but me conforming just made me feel worse because I was meant to be believing in something I couldn't get a grasp of. I think even went into a state of depression because of it, why couldn't I understand the concept of God? Why couldn't I believe? Why couldn't I just conform? Why couldn't I just go with it, like so many others in the religion. And the honest truth is...honesty. I can't be a fake, I can't pretend to be something I am not, when I do my whole mindset suffers. It's in my nature to be me, to the real me and when I try not to be the real me...I become totally unhappy.

So I am a non-conformist.

Sia

I came across this singer tonight and was so pleased to find out she's an Aussie. I have heard a few of her tracks before, but she sounds amazing in this "live" session. What an amazing voice!!!

Twitter Smitter!

I just don't get twitter. It's embarrassing, writing random lines of crap. Who cares if you had thirteen shots when you were 21 and passes out and now your in your forties, reminiscing.

I'd rather just write long lines of crap, that makes more sense to me ;)

Just let go like Bunny!

Spliff anyone?

I typed this in google tonight "help me grow forums", thinking I might be able to find myself a new personal development forum, but this is what I got instead when I type in help me grow -"Grasscity.com Forums - Marijuana Growing and Smoking Community". Ha ha! Probably do need some loosening up ;)

Depression caused by your job

My thoughts on depression. I have a feeling someone in our family is about to have a nervous breakdown and go into deep depression. I really feel for the "said" person. I've dealt with depression myself and also seeing my dad go off the rails with his nervous breakdown, which then caused him to go "bipolar". I believe depression, has a lot to do with how as a society we a forced into doing things that we don't want to do, because society tells us we have to do certain things in life or we are deemed unsuccessful. It's very hard to break away from what everyone thinks is the "norm/the mold" and do what really suits you. But I think this is where big problems arise. I think one of the biggest factors to people going into depression is to do with work/jobs, either the job is not suited to the person, or your trying to force yourself to be in a field that really isn't you, too much work, no support or you may just not gel with the people you work with. Now when someone in your family isn't coping with work and starts taking sick days, becomes very quiet at home, or you notice that they are doing odd things, the worst thing in my opinion is to just tell them "to just go to work or you will lose your job". Well dirrrr, no rocket science there, but really forcing someone who is showing the signs of not coping, forcing them to go to something that is causing them to feel ill, is not the solution, unless you want them to eventually fall into a full on nervous breakdown, which I believe in my dads case for example pushed him into a bipolar type state. Sure push them to go to work, but don't expect that will help you later down the track, you might be doing more damage than good. I'm telling you, it would be better to have "said someone", quitting their job and looking for a job that's much more them, then looking after a screaming, crying, suicidal person.

If someone is not coping in their job, then you really just have to honestly sit back and assess is it really worth the stress. Sure there's good stress, where there's a lot of work on and sometimes it hard to handle the workload, but still love your job. I'm not talking about this kind of stress. I'm talking about the stress, where your in over your head and feel inadequate...and that's where problems start to arise.

Having a father that went into a full-blown breakdown due to his job, was a really good eye opener for me. I have a similar temperament to my father, so I am well aware that if I don't look after myself and my emotions enough, that I too could very likely have a breakdown and I wouldn't be suprised if that happened that I would also be labeled with bipolar. I don't have bipolar or any real symptoms of bipolar, yet, but "IF" I ever did go of the edge, I believe bipolar sytems could kick in. What I'm trying to say is I don't think you have to be born with bipolar, but an event could trigger something in the brain to make it change it's chemical levels (I'm sure doctors would disagree with this theory, but since I think most DRs got their degree through the ass, I don't hold much value in their opinions).

Anyway, knowing what my father went through I have been on a journey to make sure I never have to go through a similar situation myself. I almost did get there myself and it was freaking scary...but I pulled myself up and said "ah, ah...I'm not going to make the same mistake, so lets sit back and understand what's really happening here". And ultimately I came to realise I hated the people I worked with and the job really was over my head and when I could finally be honest about it and not try and be something that I was not, I was able to let it go. That in itself was a huge thing, to let go and say, "I'm just not that good at this". I am a perfectionist, and I am also someone who hates not succeeding or admit that I am not succeeding so to come to that point where I was able to do that was a pretty big step. But when I did that, I actually let go a big burden that was on my shoulder. When I let go of being perfect, I learnt that ultimately it doesn't really matter if I'm not good at what I thought I was good at. I mean who really cares? Once I let go of trying to be something I was not, somehow I was allowed to find work in areas that made me much more happier. I can honestly say, in the last 12 months I have been the happiest I have been in a long time and I never have that real stress anymore, just that good stress. I didn't even have to find my jobs with any real effort they practically landed on my knees. All because I let go of trying to be something I am not.

So if someone you know is finding their not coping with work, my advice is not to encourage them to go to work and things will get better. Encourage them to really understand why they are not coping, and encourage them to take steps to find a path that will suit them better. Encouraging someone to stick to something they don't like, will make the person feel they are doing something wrong, and they are more likely to bottle up their fears, until the reach breaking point. You don't want them to get to "breaking point" and when someone reaches breaking point, then a lot of others around that said person, will also tend to get to "breaking point" as well.

Another wow!

Can't embed this one either

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY-BY4YNs0o

Oh what a crack-up!

This probably wont be that funny to most people, as they have no clue of nonsociety.com/ but basically they guys below have done a parady on them and I find it hilarious. I wrote many months ago about my despise for this wannabe has been Mary Rambin, tacky handbag designer. So I was so delighted to watch this paraody. Oh and joyful...joyful Mary has quit non-society. Maybe she can get a real job and do something! Curtesy of gawker Seriously these girls just get my goat-up, they are such superficial bitches, it's not funny. Someone needs to teach them the life of real hard knocks. Why do people like this even get a chance to make money? What does this say about our society? I wonder!

Welcome To NomSociety from Richard Blakeley on Vimeo.

On another note I found this artist on vimeo and I love the song, so much so that I purchased it on itunes. Boy the internet is great for allowing newer artist to get exposure.