Learning Difficulties.
Well today I took the first steps to finding out what's wrong with me. All a bit scary but also good in a sense.
After reading up on my symtoms I came to the conclusion that I most probably have a learning difficulty. I even could have dyslexia or DYSGRAPHIA (which I had never heard about before) or I still could just have ADD.
DYSGRAPHIA - Inability to write coherently, but you are able to read.
What I didn't know, was the dyslexia symtoms don't always mean that you mix words and numbers or that you see warped writing or that you can't read. This is not always the case with dyslexia, which I was very suprised to find out. I never even bothered looking into dyslexia because I thought you had to have those symtoms.
So I got in contact with a number of associations dealing with dyslexia and educational pyscology and was finlly put in touch with an educational pycologist. I'm going to make an appointment with her although expensive. Over a number of sessions she will look at my learning style and see how I understand, pick-up things. I really hope she is able to explain, or help me improve some of my symtoms - otherwise I will find it very difficult in my working life.
You might wonder how I could possibly have any of these problems as I am writing right now - true but people with dysexia, DYSGRAPHIA or general learning abilities can write for themselves, but under pressure they can not perform. Which has been my problem my whole life. When required to write for exams, essays, reports, resumes. cover letters etc I just can not perform. My mind goes blank, I basically freak out.
Here are some of my other symtoms:
- That I find it very hard to write papers, reports, essays and exams. I get very stressed in these situations and my brain does not function. I always feel really down when I can't complete these task, so I avoid them like the plague. I can write things for myself (like I'm doing write now), which also made me think I couldn't have dyslexia.
- I can read and I read quite well but I don't enjoy reading at all. I don't know how many books I've picked up to read and five minutes later it's sitting on the table. I get very bored, unless I really find a book that interests me and I do skim a lot of pages. My family thinks it's quite strange as they are all big readers.
However, if I read aloud or if someone reads to me I find it hard to remember what has just been read out. I remember when I was younger people would ask me, "So what's the answer?" and I would just look at them blank and get frustrated because I couldn't remember what they had just said. Or if people had read a paragraph out and wanted me to explain what the paragraph meant I wouldn't be able to explain it.
- I also find it very hard to listen to a lecturer or a speaker and takes notes at the same time. If I do take notes they don't really make sense and usually just end up being a few simple words not sentences.
- I don't mix numbers or jubble words.
- I'm very disorganised and extemly messy.
- My concentration levels are pretty bad. I can write or draw something for about a minute before standing up or walking away or finding something else to do.
- I do at times not listen to what people have just said and ask them to repeat what they have just said.
- My handwriting was never terrible, but over the years it has got a lot messier and requires effort for me to keep it neat. I also mix cursive writing with print. My hand has also got a lot more lazier over the years and at times can be hard for me to grasp the pen properly.
- I am terribe with maths. I don't know any of my times tables and adding up in my head is a joke. I mean I can do simple sums like 10+5 but if you say to me what's 58+33 that's where I begin to lose it. Hence why I never wanted to work in a cafe.
Anyway, this all I have to write at the moment. I will keep you up-to-date. I'm hoping if I can improve in this area, other area of my life will begin to improve - like my diet. I think I need to get to the root of the problem and let's face it, I always felt such inadequecy with my learning skills. It's probably the one big thing that has worried me all my life. If I can somehow improve this problem, hopefully my esteem and confidence will improve
After reading up on my symtoms I came to the conclusion that I most probably have a learning difficulty. I even could have dyslexia or DYSGRAPHIA (which I had never heard about before) or I still could just have ADD.
DYSGRAPHIA - Inability to write coherently, but you are able to read.
What I didn't know, was the dyslexia symtoms don't always mean that you mix words and numbers or that you see warped writing or that you can't read. This is not always the case with dyslexia, which I was very suprised to find out. I never even bothered looking into dyslexia because I thought you had to have those symtoms.
So I got in contact with a number of associations dealing with dyslexia and educational pyscology and was finlly put in touch with an educational pycologist. I'm going to make an appointment with her although expensive. Over a number of sessions she will look at my learning style and see how I understand, pick-up things. I really hope she is able to explain, or help me improve some of my symtoms - otherwise I will find it very difficult in my working life.
You might wonder how I could possibly have any of these problems as I am writing right now - true but people with dysexia, DYSGRAPHIA or general learning abilities can write for themselves, but under pressure they can not perform. Which has been my problem my whole life. When required to write for exams, essays, reports, resumes. cover letters etc I just can not perform. My mind goes blank, I basically freak out.
Here are some of my other symtoms:
- That I find it very hard to write papers, reports, essays and exams. I get very stressed in these situations and my brain does not function. I always feel really down when I can't complete these task, so I avoid them like the plague. I can write things for myself (like I'm doing write now), which also made me think I couldn't have dyslexia.
- I can read and I read quite well but I don't enjoy reading at all. I don't know how many books I've picked up to read and five minutes later it's sitting on the table. I get very bored, unless I really find a book that interests me and I do skim a lot of pages. My family thinks it's quite strange as they are all big readers.
However, if I read aloud or if someone reads to me I find it hard to remember what has just been read out. I remember when I was younger people would ask me, "So what's the answer?" and I would just look at them blank and get frustrated because I couldn't remember what they had just said. Or if people had read a paragraph out and wanted me to explain what the paragraph meant I wouldn't be able to explain it.
- I also find it very hard to listen to a lecturer or a speaker and takes notes at the same time. If I do take notes they don't really make sense and usually just end up being a few simple words not sentences.
- I don't mix numbers or jubble words.
- I'm very disorganised and extemly messy.
- My concentration levels are pretty bad. I can write or draw something for about a minute before standing up or walking away or finding something else to do.
- I do at times not listen to what people have just said and ask them to repeat what they have just said.
- My handwriting was never terrible, but over the years it has got a lot messier and requires effort for me to keep it neat. I also mix cursive writing with print. My hand has also got a lot more lazier over the years and at times can be hard for me to grasp the pen properly.
- I am terribe with maths. I don't know any of my times tables and adding up in my head is a joke. I mean I can do simple sums like 10+5 but if you say to me what's 58+33 that's where I begin to lose it. Hence why I never wanted to work in a cafe.
Anyway, this all I have to write at the moment. I will keep you up-to-date. I'm hoping if I can improve in this area, other area of my life will begin to improve - like my diet. I think I need to get to the root of the problem and let's face it, I always felt such inadequecy with my learning skills. It's probably the one big thing that has worried me all my life. If I can somehow improve this problem, hopefully my esteem and confidence will improve
posted by lychee at 9:15 PM
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