Ok so now I have a headache

It is from the stress of today. You know facing my fears.

I have to tell you just prior to phoning the guy about bowing out of job I was feeling so ill. I think I was having a panic attack. My heart was beating so rapidly and I found it so hard to breath. I just had tell myself to take big breaths and get over myself and by strong and to stop worrying what people think of me. This is my life and fuck what other people think. It kind of helped, well it helped me with dialing the number, still didn't help me with the phone call in being assertive - that will be for the next time. As I know there will be a next time. There is always a next time. I know that's one of my big lesson I need to learn, to face my fears and be strong. I haven't quite got there yet. I think I have improved a little bit, which is a good start. Baby steps is what I need to take.