Empty Spaces

I try and find who I am,
but all I find are empty spaces.
Spaces that cannot be filled,
Spaces that cannot be found,
Spaces where I feel alone,
and all I keep thinking is there should be no empty spaces.

By me

Feeling good

Today I feel like things are getting back on track. For some reason I feel at ease and that everything is going to work out. Although, I am dissapointed in the fact that I did not win tatslotto. I was so sure I was gonna win. I was even hurt when I opened the Herald Sun this morning, to find a large spread on tatslotto winners and what they did with there money. Is someone up above trying to rub it in my face - Jesus!

Anyway, I have to admit that I have been a bit lost lately. I have not wanted to do anything with my life. Anyway, slowly I'm getting back into gear.

I might even have a suprise in store for all you lovely readers in the next few weeks. Well I better tell you what it is, or else you might think I'm getting married or something. I going to keep my gossip column seperate and I've made a new site with wordpress - just testing it out at this stage. So keep an eye out for a new link to the right :)

Oh dear! Poor Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan is not even 21 years of age and she looks like she about the same age as zsa zsa gabor. How sad is that!
I don't think Lindsay will be getting any offers to promote beauty cream, unless the intention of the cream is to look like a beaten up drunk and a grandma. They could call it "Old Lindsay" - yeah that would sell for sure.

Have a look at her here lindsay looks like a granny

What to try something trippy? Is it Telekinesis or not?

Oh my this is such a freaky thing to try, but really it's just science. Although it's pretty amazing. I have to say after doing it, you kind of feel like it's some of your own power and energy, but really it seems to be about heat waves.

I just did the PSI wheel test and it's amazing.

Basically you cut out a square of paper fold it into 8ths (so you get a star) and then get an erazer and stick the blunt end of the pin into the erazer. Then you rest the paper ontop of the pointy side of the pin - don't peirce the paper, just rest it on top ever so slighty. Then put your hands around the object (doesn't have to be complety closed) and watch the thing spin around. It might not happen straight away but it will happen. It even will stop and change direction. Very cool!

Here's it in action video here

Pants getting loose

Good news, I'm pretty sure I'm losing weight because my pants are becoming loose and slipping down. The bad news is my weight on the scale keeps going up - I don't know what's going on there.

I've been eating healthily and being careful with my calories. I've noticed caffine (especially coffee) makes me really jittery and uptight.

Healthy Eating and Smaller Portions and Trying to get Energy Back

I didn't do to well in the BLC this week. I put on 600grams. However, I have started to really get into healthy eating. Infact I enjoy eating healthy foods. I guess the only reason I wasn't eat fresh food before, was that it takes time to prepare - but really it doesn't take too much time. I'm also contemplating becoming a vegetarian. I really have never enjoyed meat and lately just looking at it makes me feel sick. I found a really good vegetarian cookbook called "Vegie Food, Low-fat and Delicious - Women's Weekly". I haven't found many low fat vegie books, so this one is really good, with some really lovely receipes.

Today for lunch I made rice paper rolls (which weren't in the book), but boy they are so yummy and so simple to make. I had four and that filled me up :)

I put scrambled egg (only used non-stick oil spray)
Dill swapped one for corriander
Vermicelli
Avacado

I guess I really want to start eating healthy, so I can my energy levels back, because at the moment I'm so tired all the time. I did about 10 minutes of cleaning the walls yesterday and I was pooped. That's why I hope if I injest healthy, fresh foods I will get my immune system up and running better.

I have not much to post - Moby

I don't know if you visited Moby's site, but I thought it was kind of cool that he writes in a blog, and quite regularly at that. He also has put up photos he has taken - it's nice to get a tiny glimpse into his life. I even saw a couple of his celeb photos of Scarlet Johansen, Heath Ledger and Noami Watts. Check it out here moby

Being Creative

Two days ago I made this canvas. I was getting excited because I thought I could sell them and make a profit, but my family reckons they would only pay $25 -30 for a 20cm X 20 cm frame. It's not really worth it then, because this designer fabric is quite expensive. Anyway, what would you pay for it?

Biggest Loser Challenge - My ideal outfit

Here's a pic of my ideal outfit when I reach my final goal. I want to get to around 55 kg.
The bottom of my outfit will be my black Saba dinner pants, which are a size 10 or size 1. These were the most expensive pants I ever bought, but actually they are timeless pants and the quailty of them is amazing. I think the cost me about $350.00 - those were the days!

I don't want to blog

I'm avoiding blogging, which I said would be the case.

I feel so fat and frumpy, and feel like giving up gym. However, I'm going to fight these feelings and continue on. The problem is when I go to the gym I always put on weight and not just a little bit of weight - I mean 4-5kg and those kg are hard to budge. I think I'm losing weight dress wise, because my pants are feeling quite lose, but still kind of depressing when you see the scales figures go up and up. What ususally happens is I stop going to gym and then I lose a whole lot of weight (from muscle reducing), but then I just end up eating all the kg back on after a few months.

Still I have to persist, I am determined to get into a size 10 and I want to dress in fun, funky clothing and not drabby clothing.