Manifesting

Ok, so I have this strong feeling that something big is going to happen. I'm not going to say what it is on here, cause I don't want to like a complete nut if it doesn't happen. Anyway, I have journaled it and really made it clear what I want and I feel like it's going to happen very soon. I have an overwhelming sense of peace today and feel really excited about the coming prospect.

All I'm going to say is that it's going to happen!

I want to work at SBS, The ABC or Acmi

These are the top three places I want to work.

ABC would be my no 1 preference. I would like to work on JTV, Landline or Gardening Australia - within the ABC.

Let's see if I can get a job there :)

Ok so now I have a headache

It is from the stress of today. You know facing my fears.

I have to tell you just prior to phoning the guy about bowing out of job I was feeling so ill. I think I was having a panic attack. My heart was beating so rapidly and I found it so hard to breath. I just had tell myself to take big breaths and get over myself and by strong and to stop worrying what people think of me. This is my life and fuck what other people think. It kind of helped, well it helped me with dialing the number, still didn't help me with the phone call in being assertive - that will be for the next time. As I know there will be a next time. There is always a next time. I know that's one of my big lesson I need to learn, to face my fears and be strong. I haven't quite got there yet. I think I have improved a little bit, which is a good start. Baby steps is what I need to take.

How quickly things can change. I'm out of a job - lol

So guess what I knocked back the job. Yeah bizarre right.

I'm happy with my decsion, basically I understood from yesterday that there was a lot more work involved than I first anticipated. which was ok, because I understood from a staff member that you get overtime. Anyway, there was no overtime for me - so you know what fuck it.

The job isn't really what I want and I don't want to waste my skills.

I've got the attitude that I no longer want to be bullied and I have to stick to my guns and fuck get a backbone.

So here's what I wrote a few post back - how true my predictions were.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So what's my gut saying? Will I get the job? I feel I will be offered it. However, I do have a feeling, that this job will be less than perfect. Something not quite right with it and so I don't think I will work there for very long.

However, it is a stepping stone.

The Secret and Oprah

I thought this was a good article. I'm not a fan of Operah, there's something very superficial about her.

click here

Ha Ha this is what my horoscope tells me - Libra

A new and exciting work assignment is likely to come to you by the same solar eclipse, March 18, plus or minus five days. Still, if you are offered a new job, realize the move would be lateral, not a step up. If you want a better job, then you need to wait until mid-July to act, or, until the last quarter of this year when you'll get a very long, sustained chance to reorganize your career life.

Still, having said that, the new assignments you get in March will lead you to that better job. If you do change jobs, it looks like you may not stay long.

Is this news disappointing? If you really are excited about taking a new job, it may be that you will do brilliant work at this job, work that will get you known in the industry rather quickly. That work may bridge you to an even better job later, so that would be a good outcome!

*****************************************
OMG - look what I wrote a few post backwards, before I read this horoscope. Spooky!!!!

So what's my gut saying? Will I get the job? I feel I will be offered it. However, I do have a feeling, that this job will be less than perfect. Something not quite right with it and so I don't think I will work there for very long.

However, it is a stepping stone.

Ha Ha this is what my horoscope tells me - Libra

A new and exciting work assignment is likely to come to you by the same solar eclipse, March 18, plus or minus five days. Still, if you are offered a new job, realize the move would be lateral, not a step up. If you want a better job, then you need to wait until mid-July to act, or, until the last quarter of this year when you'll get a very long, sustained chance to reorganize your career life.

Still, having said that, the new assignments you get in March will lead you to that better job. If you do change jobs, it looks like you may not stay long.

Is this news disappointing? If you really are excited about taking a new job, it may be that you will do brilliant work at this job, work that will get you known in the industry rather quickly. That work may bridge you to an even better job later, so that would be a good outcome!



How true!

The result - did I get the job?

Well I got the JOB :) I knew I had, when I left, just a gut feeling.

The people are nice and upfront, but there's going to be a hell of a lot of work and lots of overtime - but at least I get paid for it. The pay is what I wanted and hopefully I get $10,000 -15,000 grand on top of that through overtime.

I am worried that it's too much of a technical role, but I said that to them and they didn't think it will be a problem. So at least at the end of the day, I can say, well I told you straight up what I thought.

I'm really getting into this gut feeling and to be honest I'm seeing a strong pattern appearing in how my destiny/pattern to life. It's been quite clear, especially within the last few months. I will talk about it in more detail tomorrow or later tonight.

Do I get the job?

Well today’s the day I find out if I get the job. I go into the place this afternoon to see what it's like and I guess it's so they can see if they like me. The owner said he would make a decision by tonight. There are a few other people vying for the job.

So what's my gut saying? Will I get the job? I feel I will be offered it. However, I do have a feeling, that this job will be less than perfect. Something not quite right with it and so I don't think I will work there for very long.

However, it is a stepping stone.

I soooo miss my old job. Mark emailed me back this morning, about being my referee and he was just so lovely. Mark was one of my supervisors. I knew the moment I met him he was nice. Anyway, he said in his email to make sure I don't get ripped off -lol, but that all jobs can lead to others :)

You know it really makes a differnce who you work with, and in my last job I really got a long with everyone, which made such a differnce in my daily working life. I just don't know why the "earth/who ever is looking after me above" wanted me to move on and start a new journey. Why I couldn't I just stay in a place I was really happy and comfortable in?

I bet no job is going to compare to that one, that's why it took me so long to job search. As I was hoping/praying that they would of found me a position - but it was not meant to be. So I can't go on whinging, can I?

So I will update you with how I went tonight. Keep your fingers kind of crossed for me :)

If I do get a full time job soon these are the things I want to do

At the end of the year I want to go to Paris and Italy (although I want to go in summer so it might have to be next year)
So I might vist Leigh in NZ.
Pay my family back
Think about looking for a new place to live
Fix my car up or think about purchasing a suzuki swift
Get a new TV and DVD
Put money aside for my own projects, such as directing a documentary and buying a video camera and good quality DSLR camera.

Looking for work, pain in my mouth and other stuff

So I went for a couple of job interviews the other day. I realise I'm actually pathetic at selling my work, even though I know it's good. I hate talking about my work, which unfortunately means I lose out on jobs. At the end of the day, I can't do a 360 a change who I am, but I can try to be more prepared.

I might have a chance with one job, but I'm unsure I even want it. The managing director, just shits me personality wise; cocky, Italian (sorry I know that it might sound racist, but Italians can be cocky), youngish and just expects that everyone will bow down to what he wants. So I know his personality would grate on me. There are good points to the job, the pay is the same as my government job, I was really expecting to find jobs under what I was getting in my previous job, the work seems interesting and his staff members (from the brief encounter I had with them) seemed really nice - my type of people.

So I guess I would take the job, because really how often am I going to see the manager?

I just have this feeling that even if I did get the job, I wouldn't last there very long - gut instinct.

I'm very much into the whole gut instinct of late. You know becoming highly aware of my intuition. I think I'm getting quite good it at actually. I can read people like there's no tomorrow.

Also I've had aches in my mouth ear. I don't think it's a toothache because it's on both sides of my mouth. I went to the Dr about it because it was making me really cranky. She thinks it's to do with my salivary glands and being dehydrated (maybe stones in my glands), or the joints in my jaw a playing up. Anyway, I have to drink heaps of water and gargle with lemon and salt water.