A bit depressing - I hate religion!
So I went to the funeral with mum, it was sad but I held myself together for the most part. I just can't believe Nick is dead and so I still act as he is still alive :(
Anyway, what I didn't say was that Nick was a Jehovah's Witness and so was I when I was growing up. He stayed with the JW's suprisingly and well me being the rebel that I am left (actually if you really knew me you would no I'm not much of a rebel). But you could never force me to do something if I didn't believe in it and well I never believed in the JW's.
So the funeral was held at a JW church and there was a get together afterwards - cake, sandwitches, tea and coffee etc
Anyway, being a JW is quite complicated because basically if you do something wrong - such as sex, drugs and rock and roll and everything else in between you will get what is called disfellowshiped if you were baptised, which means you basically get cut off from the religion and no one is allowed to talk to you - I know ridiculous, but they somehow justify that idea (like every other religion) with biblical references. It all goes over my head. However, the clever cookie that I am I never bowed down to these requests for me to get baptised and so I don't have a problem and can never be disfellowshiped as I was never baptised. Which means JW's can talk to me and there is no problem and I can do as much sex, drugs and rock and roll as much as I want - how ironic! Still sometimes people don't know if I was baptised and then disfellowshiped, so I had a lot of people ignoring me and well I felt horrible and also felt like I was 14 years old again with the same old feelings where I felt like I just didn't belong.
I also sat back and watched these JW's and thought they're such bloody hypocrits. Sure a lot of them are nice but really I know what goes on with the vast majority of them and let me tell you I'm more of a goody two shoes than most of them. A lot of them are just as worldy and get up to mistufous, but they just don't get busted. They are also so into there fricken titles, elders, ministerial servents, pioneers etc similar to in a work situation; second in charge, manager, director, CEO etc. They are all about titles, but really deep down I think the majority of them don't have true inner belief in God, they more intrested in gaining that respect with the title than actually believing in what they say. I know many JW's that have broken the rules and should be difellowshiped and yet there in these "so called" big responsibilities. It's all so superficial and they're all full of crap to be honest. They just like the people in the world, they have their clicks and they bullshit to move up the ladder. If only they could see they are just like everyone else and that it's really sad to see how blind they all are.
I also think they're full of shit, because I know for a fact the have covered up, protected people who have abused children and did not disfellowship them - now where's the fricken irony in that. That my friends is pure evil.
Anyway, listening to the service and the JW giving the talk, I came to realise I will never ever go back to being a JW - if I ever thought that to be the case. I sat there bored out of my brains and didn't understand a word he was crapping on about - apart from the poem (non religious) Now that I could understand.
Look don't get me wrong there are some lovely JW's (my mum is one of them) and truley believe in serving God and doesn't do it for anyone else but themselves. But seriously there is a lot of them that just don't see how far from loving a god they are, they've lost what it really means to love a god (if there is one) and they're basically just doing the motions, but there hearts not really into it. A lot of them are scared to break away because well it's really hard. Who wouldn't find it hard to be ostrisized and not being allowed to speak to people that were once your friends and it's also about being judged, no one wants to be judged and so they stay, rather than being true to themselves. Yes it is really hard to leave the JW's, it like your family being ripped away from you, everything you once knew has gone, your crutch is gone and you have to start all over again, learning the ropes of "worldly ways" - sex, drugs and rock and roll and you know what it is really, really hard. It's scary being in unknown terratories, but over time you get the hang of it and it's actually really nice and you realise that there are people out there that are just as nice and infact nicer.
If God wanted to be judged so much in a religion well then I don't want god and like I said once before I'm happy to die and just die.
Anyway, what I didn't say was that Nick was a Jehovah's Witness and so was I when I was growing up. He stayed with the JW's suprisingly and well me being the rebel that I am left (actually if you really knew me you would no I'm not much of a rebel). But you could never force me to do something if I didn't believe in it and well I never believed in the JW's.
So the funeral was held at a JW church and there was a get together afterwards - cake, sandwitches, tea and coffee etc
Anyway, being a JW is quite complicated because basically if you do something wrong - such as sex, drugs and rock and roll and everything else in between you will get what is called disfellowshiped if you were baptised, which means you basically get cut off from the religion and no one is allowed to talk to you - I know ridiculous, but they somehow justify that idea (like every other religion) with biblical references. It all goes over my head. However, the clever cookie that I am I never bowed down to these requests for me to get baptised and so I don't have a problem and can never be disfellowshiped as I was never baptised. Which means JW's can talk to me and there is no problem and I can do as much sex, drugs and rock and roll as much as I want - how ironic! Still sometimes people don't know if I was baptised and then disfellowshiped, so I had a lot of people ignoring me and well I felt horrible and also felt like I was 14 years old again with the same old feelings where I felt like I just didn't belong.
I also sat back and watched these JW's and thought they're such bloody hypocrits. Sure a lot of them are nice but really I know what goes on with the vast majority of them and let me tell you I'm more of a goody two shoes than most of them. A lot of them are just as worldy and get up to mistufous, but they just don't get busted. They are also so into there fricken titles, elders, ministerial servents, pioneers etc similar to in a work situation; second in charge, manager, director, CEO etc. They are all about titles, but really deep down I think the majority of them don't have true inner belief in God, they more intrested in gaining that respect with the title than actually believing in what they say. I know many JW's that have broken the rules and should be difellowshiped and yet there in these "so called" big responsibilities. It's all so superficial and they're all full of crap to be honest. They just like the people in the world, they have their clicks and they bullshit to move up the ladder. If only they could see they are just like everyone else and that it's really sad to see how blind they all are.
I also think they're full of shit, because I know for a fact the have covered up, protected people who have abused children and did not disfellowship them - now where's the fricken irony in that. That my friends is pure evil.
Anyway, listening to the service and the JW giving the talk, I came to realise I will never ever go back to being a JW - if I ever thought that to be the case. I sat there bored out of my brains and didn't understand a word he was crapping on about - apart from the poem (non religious) Now that I could understand.
Look don't get me wrong there are some lovely JW's (my mum is one of them) and truley believe in serving God and doesn't do it for anyone else but themselves. But seriously there is a lot of them that just don't see how far from loving a god they are, they've lost what it really means to love a god (if there is one) and they're basically just doing the motions, but there hearts not really into it. A lot of them are scared to break away because well it's really hard. Who wouldn't find it hard to be ostrisized and not being allowed to speak to people that were once your friends and it's also about being judged, no one wants to be judged and so they stay, rather than being true to themselves. Yes it is really hard to leave the JW's, it like your family being ripped away from you, everything you once knew has gone, your crutch is gone and you have to start all over again, learning the ropes of "worldly ways" - sex, drugs and rock and roll and you know what it is really, really hard. It's scary being in unknown terratories, but over time you get the hang of it and it's actually really nice and you realise that there are people out there that are just as nice and infact nicer.
If God wanted to be judged so much in a religion well then I don't want god and like I said once before I'm happy to die and just die.
posted by lychee at 10:44 PM
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